Saturday, February 20, 2010

Maxima Fugly


    This car is frightening and all over the place... I think he may have added some thing for the sole reason that they were chromed.

    Starting off with the front end, numerous skulls and/or skull and crossbones visible. "HIS PAIN YOUR GAIN" is written on the windsheild, and bedazzled Playboy bunnies adorn unpainted hood scoops (which are also bedazzled). "HIS PAIN YOUR GAIN" is the first noticable religious reference, but I suppose "BIG DADDY" could be referencing his own pimping skills. "BIG DADDY" appears to be the owner, as this is written on the rear view mirrors in chrome. What appear to be 12 shark fin antennae sprout from the front end. For better reception with God? Or the other ships in his pirate fleet? Or his hoes? And of course there's various pieces of chrome ribbing, and a hawk and some kind of hood ornament thrown in for good measure.


    The side profile gives you a better view of BIG DADDY, but also downplays the religious aspect with yet more skulls (which on closer inspection are actually license plates stuck to the side of the car), as well as the text "YOU NEVER MET A MOTHER F----- QUITE LIKE ME". Ain't that the truth. At least he was tasteful enough to censor himself. But what kind of religious man goes around spouting the F-bomb (although I suppose it was censored)?


    Out back the chrome ribbing is back in full force, especially in the bumper. As are the skull license plates. Also reinforcing the religious slant are two Jesus fish and the text "ONLY GOD KNOW WHY" (again, ain't that the truth), as well as the text "PRAY". At the very top of the rear window below 3 skulls pointing skyward is some more text, which appears to say "JESUS PAID IT ALL". "BIG DADDY" and the Playboy bunny also make another appearance. The text I thought was possibly written in tongues, but appears to be "FOUREZ" written repeatedly. Making their first appearance are two "special edition" badges, two "V6" badges and two Superman logos.

    So I've basically come to the conclusion that this car is driven by a pirate preacher pimp with superhero aspirations. Maybe he steals your hoes and prays for your salvation.


    *UPDATE*:
    Found an interior pic, below. Some of the stuff is hard to make out through the window (do I see skunk pelts?), but I especially like all the little skulls stuck to the steering wheel, which will undoubtedly turn into flying skulls of death should the airbag ever go off.

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