Monday, January 25, 2010

Nissan Cube is Fug³

    So you can lose all respect for this blog is you want, but I actually kinda liked the first Cube. It was unique, but restrained at the same time. Then Nissan decided to pull an Emeril and kick it up a notch in the weirdness department.

    First up, let's get that mug out of the way. Nissan actually said it's design was inspired by, and I quote, a "bulldog in sunglasses". Really? How do they even know what that looks like? Do people with bulldogs make them wear sunglasses a lot? I have to find these people and report them to the SPCA. Also, the windows have all evolved into a weird round porthole shape, which I can't imagine aids visibility.

    The asymmetrical rear window is still here, although now the taillights are mounted low across the rear end, where I'm sure they're almost useless when traffic gets tight. Inside, things get worse. Weird for the sake of weird dominates, like the rippled roof fabric.

    But the pièce de résistance is definitely the optional shug carpet swatch affixed to the dashboard. What is it for? No one knows... I can't see it being all that useful for holding things still while the car's in motion. I can't really find an info on what it is exactly. Nissan's website talks about it frequently, but they call it a "Shag Dash Topper" and don't mention anything about what it does other than sit there and look stupid.

    But perhaps you're sitting there and thinking to yourself, "Well, that's all well and good. But I want something really ugly. And I mean really, REALLY ugly. With lots of chrome". Well, you're in luck! Nissan also offers the Krom edition, spelled improperly because that's cool and people can't spell now anyway thanks to texting. wtf omg rofl.

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