Elantra Fug, Pt. 2

I think the pictures explain this for themselves. Hyundai Elantras are not usually the prime choice for lowriders, but even if they were this is one of the ugliest lowriders I've seen. If the Grim Reaper drives this, then people probably die from laughter and not his sickle.

Aftermarket Elantra Fug

Sadly, Hyundai doesn't seem to have a huge aftermarket following. Meaning many of the people who do try to modify them do so with what they can, and the results aren't always the greatest. Examples follow...

First off - this isn't too bad, except for the transport truck grille stuck to the front. Sadly, most Elantras and Hyundais in general suffer from owners who paste on acres of chrome.

Second is this interior pic (from a separate car). I personally love how the painted blue dash clashes with the wood steering wheel, which clashes with the red leather shifter boot, which clashes with the purple shifter knob. Giving the colour coordination, the exterior is probably a suitable matching colour - like yellow.

Flawless 1950 Ford Recreation

Believe it or not, this is a kit that you can buy and I have seen several version floating around eBay. And what car is better suited to the flowing, bulbous lines of 1950's automobiles than the flat-sided and blocky last generation Thunderbird.

New (Old?) Interior Fabrics, Pt. 1

Of all the riced out Civics I saw (online) at SEMA this year, this was by far the worst. And it's not just because of it's purple camo paint job, but for it's equally tacky DENIM interior trim. Denim as anything but clothing should have been outlawed as soon as the 80's ended on January 1st, 1990. Although AMC seemed to have some success with the concept in the 70's. But who wants to emulate AMC?

New Interior Fabrics, Pt. 1

It seems the newest automotive trend for cars is to skin prostitutes and use their hides to dress the interiors of cars.

GMC... Something.

There are some mother-fugly stuff on ebay today. I mean - just look at this thing. It's a GMC underneath with some kind of weird Lincoln Zephur front stuck on.

A Corvette? A Modena? It's... FUGLY.

I can imagine a lot of money went into to making these cars - I guess this shows money can't buy class. Or good looks. It's sad that there are many cheapo replicas that look better than this Modena knockoff.

I wish this fad would die...

This looks sooo stupid. It's like lowriders in reverse.

Hippy Mobile

A 1967 Fiberfab VW Avenger (GT40) kit car. Not only does it not look like a GT40, it's also very hippy. What's with the budonkadonk? Looks like a chipmunk with it's mouth full.

Sweet mother of fug...

This is a Lamborghini Gallardo replica. It's ugly. It's coated it what appears to be leopard print fabric. And it's sheetmetal construction process seems crude at best. Sadly - I think the donor car (a Dodge Stratus of all things) would have been better off left alone. Found this on ebay - reserve is $13,000. Strangely, there are no bids.







Also - note how the sheetmetal appears to be grafted overtop of the old sheet metal. Must make for some interesting rust problems.

Jiang Ling Landwind - aka Deathmobile

This truck makes the list not because it's fugly, but because it's deadly. Basically a massaged 1991-1997 Isuzu Rodeo sold as new by the Chinese car company Jiang Ling as the Landwind.

It recently made the news as the first Chinese car imported into Europe and the first car to score ZERO on European crash tests.

The link below contains some amazing videos. Notice how the airbag deploys as scheduled, slightly before decapitating you with the steering wheel and crushing your remains with the dashboard. Also shown is a link of a REVISED Landwind, tested 10 mph LOWER with results just as crushing.

http://paultan.org/archives/2005/09/30/jiangling-landwind-x6-gets-zero-in-crash-test/

2006 Four Stroke Design Rumen

Roumen Antonov loves the Bugatti Type 57. Over the past 30 years he's played with designs for his own car that pays tribute, forming a company to produce it under the name of "Four Stroke Design". In 2005 he presents the production version of his car at the Frankfurt Motorshow - the Rumen. Considering that this is the product of almost 30 years of revisions, I would expect something not so fugly. Almost a “Retro Minicar”, the 100hp, 1000 pound car slightly resembles the Type 57 - but squashed and stretched until it’s not long and sleek anymore. It almost looks like a Weevil.

Spinning Exhaust Bling

http://www.shoplaser.com/index.html

For only $40 US, you too can have this lame-ass piece of innovative auto customization - the spinning exhaust tip! Follow the link for more pics and videos!


Similar to "spinner" rims, these use exhaust fumes to spin a chrome cap. I swear, there isn't too much more on a car you can chrome plate and spin, or attach LED lights too. It won't be too much longer until entire cars are chrome plated, covered with LED lights like a christmas tree and spin like tops.

Now THAT'S bling.

Audi Shooting Brake, Lector Edition

Speaking of Hannibal Lector, Audi will be introducing the next TT at the Tokyo Auto Show. It appears that - in honour of the show's closeness to Halloween - they've morphed the Audi grille into a take on Hannibal Lector's infamous mask.


Speaking of the new TT (the concept is officially called the Shooting Brake - which is weird as that's basically a British term for sporting station wagon), although it's more sleek it also looks more stale and boring - like an A3. Doesn't have the impact of the original. That and the rear looks like an old meld of original TT and Volvo SCC Concept.

Jettillac

This is the worst piece of automotive disaster I have seen in a long time. I'm not too huge of a fan of the Cadillac CTS in the first place, but especially not when skinned and stuck on the front of a Jetta. Ironically, I just watched "The Silence of the Lambs" yesterday, and this hack job reminds me of that scene where Lector cuts off that guys face and wears it for a bit to fool the police. This Jetta owner is possibly also trying to fool the police, and the results are equally horrifying.




Not content to simply combine two completely clashing car designs, extras were added - like those little things above the headlights. Are they laser guided? Maybe there's hidden guns for drive-bys...





Other touches include X-treme panel gap above the Cadillac grille, and front bumpers that point to the ground. Also note the VW logo in Cadillac wreath. Bottom pic is the car at it's best, with wider rims to fill out the wide-body bodywork.

Edselubaru

While flipping through a magazine the other day, it suddenly occured to me that the Tribeca looks unusually similar to the 1958 Edsel - a car infamous for it's looks and sebsequent failure.


The similarity is most shocking on the front end. The Edsel's "horsecollar" grille is taller and tapers the opposite direction, but it's bold and front and centre in both cars. Also, it's flanked by smaller grilles that span the whole length of the front, with the headlights sitting on top.

If this wasn't enough, the Tribeca's taillights are also very similar to the Edsel sedan's (the Edsel wagon's were completely different) - the narrow and wide, set up near the bottom of the greenhouse.

1950 Reyonnah

I would be terrified driving this car. This ultra-narrow 2 passenger sedan was built for urban areas as a solution for parking. Passengers sit in tandem, like a bicycle built for two.

It looks even more frightening to drive in these pictures, but when in motion the car isn't in this "pointing skyward" position - the front wheels are hinged so that front end can be pushed up high, reducing the legth of the car. It's powered by a 8.5hp single cylinder engine that somehow pushes it to a top speed of 70kph.

1964 Peel Trident

No, this is not a gumball machine.

The Peel Trident's successor, the P-50, was introduced in 1962 as the world’s smallest passenger car. The car was only 4 feet long and powered by a 49 cc moped motor. At an advertised 100 miles per gallon, it was "almost cheaper than walking". Personally, I think I would rather walk, and I'd probably get there faster. In 1964 the Peel Trident was introduced, based on the P-50 chassis but with a slightly larger 2-seater body. Entry was gained by lifting the plastic dome roof.

Bond Minicar

Misc

Bond cars began production in 1950, intended as being a car that bridged the gap between motorcycle and car, keeping the advantages of both. It was cheap to run and cheap to make, yet had more room and was "safer" than a motorcycle. Early Bond cars were very primitive three-wheelers, with the motor actually mounted on the single front wheel. The first car - the Mark A - didn't even have rear suspension.

Pictured here is the Mark C - when Bond started trying to pretend these were actual cars. However, I don't think the "real car" front is fooling anyone. Especially if you popped the hood to see the powertain. An interesting feature - the front wheel could be turned and locked to 90 degrees, so that that car could turn 180 degrees with almost no turning radius.

BMW 600 - Super Isetta

Reaction to the original Isetta was relatively good, but the general response was that the car was too small. In 1959, BMW decided to go "up a class" and produce a larger car with room for four by using existing Isetta production equipment on a stretched chassis.

The outcome - the 600 - retained the stock front opening door, but with a wheelbase 165cm longer, a larger boxer motor driving full-width rear axles (the small Isetta's rear wheels were placed close together), and conventional rear doors for the rear passengers. Revised bumpers looked a bit better, but this car is still far too odd to compete with other small cars at the time - especially considering it cost more that the ever popular VW Beetle.

Only 35,000 were produced in one year (1959), after which it was replaced by the normal looking BMW 700.

BMW Isetta

Due to popular demand, I present to you the BMW Isetta - which will become the first of a series of posts of microcars. Why? Because most of them are fugly.

The BMW Isetta - commonly known to some as Erkel's car on "Family Matters" - was born out of the bubble car phase of the 50's. The car is actually based off the Iso Isetta - in 1954 BMW development engineer Eberhard Wolff was given the task of improving the car. As part of the licensing agreement, the exterior was not to be radically altered. The most important change was the engine, as even then BMW did not want to be associated with the smokey 2 stroke engines that powered the Iso. BMW swapped in it's own 4 stroke engine, and the BMW Isetta was born.

Not you typical BMW, this mini-car looked like a bubble on wheels. Entrance was throw the front of the car which hinged open. The steering column was attached to this door and swivelled out of the way with it for entry.

1991 Isuzu Nagisa

Basically, a concept of a car that looks like a boat but can't go in the water (well, it can - it just won't float). Enough said.

Proton Arena Fastback

In continents other than truck happy North America, heavy hauling duties are usually carried by car-based vans and trucks - usually in commercial applications. They're basically cars with either a bed or a cargo van type extension, and all usually seem to be based on the companies cheapest offerings. Australia has taken this idea to a whole other extreme, with a fullsize car range of "utes" that can even be had in performance versions.

Malaysian Proton (for those not in the know, they are only now branching off from Mitsubishi based offerings) is now marketing this previously commercial only vehicles for the public. Behold - the Proton Arena, whose models include the Freestyle, the Sportdeck and the Fastback.

http://www.proton2020.com/arena.asp#

However, the Proton Arena Fastback gets a mention on the site because it's such a bizarre piece of machinery. Basically, it's a car that looks like a truck, that looks like a car. It's basically a car based truck with a tonneau cover that contains a glassed-in compartment to give it a fast-back look - and basically giving the impression of a car with a huuuuge trunk. Why someone who buy this instead of an actual car, I don't know. It severely limits the useablity of a bed, and if you want it to look like a car, buy the car version on which it is based.

Right from the site:
"A 2-in-1 vehicle for individualistic style in both business and leisure, the Proton Arena can be defined as a truck with a car-like driveability or a car with truck-like versatility! A multi-purpose passenger car which facilitates the transportation of goods summarises its unique character."

Suzuki Cuteness Overload

More from the 2005 Tokyo show. This year Suzuki is displaying 4 concepts, 3 of which are sickeningly cute.




First up, the a micro-wagon type vehicle, named the "Suzuki Mom's Personal Transport". Such an innovative name. So unnecessarily long, unnecessarily descriptive, and unnecessarily offensize to feminists. Also - speaking of unnecessarily offensize to feminists - notice the cheeseburger and pop in the press photos of the interior. Is that trying to say urban Mom's typically eat fast food and/or feed it to their children? Is it ok to show people that it's ok to feed fast food to your children? Was this car sponsored by McDonalds? Will there be a Suzuki Mom's Personal Tranport McDonalds Edition? If so, they should name it the Suzuki Mom's Personal Transport With Fries.

Anyway, back to the car. It isn't necessarily fugly, but that cutesy toothy smile of a grille it has going has got to go. Cars shouldn't look like cartoon characters.

Next up is another cartoon mini car that isn't quite fugly - the LC. But again, car's should be sleek and efficient - form follows fuction. This is not form follows fuction, unless the sole fuction of this car is to make Shirley Temple look like a steaming pile of dog doo. Also, I really don't like car makers who make a basic reinterpretation of car from the past solely for novelty purposes. Especially when they didn't even make it originally - this car is a ringer for a Fiat 850.

Last but not least is the least cute and most fugly of the Suzuki trio - the Ionis. It's basically a mini minivan that appears to be scowling. This may or may not be because Suzuki gave it a name that's only one letter off from Ford's big show car from a month ago - the Iosis (which was NOT fugly).