GDT Speedster

A Corvette based aftermarket car, it supposedly puts out some pretty good numbers. Sadly, I've seen more interesting designs in Cub Scout cars.

Changan... Something?

Changan – one of countless weird Chinese car brands (most of which seemed to be based on Isuzus or Toyotas) – has been featured on the site before for it’s bizarre Star Trek logo.

This new Changan model is either the world’s narrowest and tallest car, or it’s a Shuttle off the USS Enterprise with wheels attached. Sadly due to my lack of fluency of the Chinese language, I do not know the name of the car pictured.

Bling Blang Blong Blung

There are many things on this car worth mentioning. Amongst he typical “ricer” fare are the Lamborghini style scissor doors that don’t appear to open high enough (do you crawl under them?), classy rims that looks like they’re made of pie plates with holes cuts out (look closely and it’s actually dollar signs and dollar bills) and what appears to be airbrush artwork of sperm trying to penetrate an egg. Other tasteless essentials for also included are "euro" taillights and Z3 vents.

Honda Accord Type-S

Auto Customization Tech Tidbit #204325
Why buy aftermarket bodypieces new when you can find them used? Pieces can regularly be found dirt cheap is scrap yards. Pieces are usually made specific to different makes and models - but not to worry. Just heat it with a blowtorch and mold it to fit! Worried about how to mount it? Installation not lining up properly? The answer is simple - again heat the piece until molten, and affix it to your current bumper. Allow appropriate cooling time and avoila! No fussy screws or bolts!


PLEASE NOTE - Abandoning the favoured "Type R" emblem, this owner has affixed a "Type S" emblem. So many people make fake Type R's now, to see a Type S emblem you just have to automatically assume it's the real thing. Also, the chrome chain license plate cover gives the car an extra shot of testosterone.

Total Eclipse of the Viper

You know, when people ask me what would make a Viper GTS look better, my automatic first response is always "cheap chrome "Euro" aftermarket taillights from a Mitsubishi Eclipse". I mean, what suits an semi-exotic sports car better than cheap molded plastic taillights bought at Canadian Tire that sort of resemble spider eyes?

Chevrolet Z-10

It's a little known fact that before the SSR Chevrolet was toying with the idea of a sports car truck. And here is the photographic evidence. Note the Z28 Camaro front end seamlessly blending into the cab of the S10. A pure masterpiece. Of course I'm kidding and this is just some poor hick's heap of trash. Or am I...


*EDIT* - on closer inspection, this is actually a Nissan Hardbody truck with a Camaro front end grafted on. Which I guess makes it much much worse.

Faralli & Mazzanti Antas V8

Take all that's bad about TVR and Macros from the 70's, mix in lots of chrome and various random louvers and you have the Antas V8.





They say:
"The Antas project is based on an in-depth study of the stylistic evolution of the Italian automobile of the first years of the 1930s to the end of the 1960s: The golden era in which elements of style were created and developed, and even today put their imprint on the most beautiful lines of automobiles of the world."



I say:
It looks like it was drawn by a 12 year old on the edge of his lessons in math class. To say that it takes all that is beautiful of Italian cars from the 30s-60s is especially odd, since it's ugly and looks like some of those awkward British sports cars from the 70's. With a rear wing that's an homage to the Russian Tatra. I particularly like the strange bent looking grille up front.

Dodge is Surprised

What is it with the current fascination with huge headlights? I thought as we progressed into the future headlights were supposed to get smaller and smaller, and then they'd be these little LED lines...

Dodge for one is going the opposite direction, with gigantic headlights. Most of their current models look surprised, or like anime characters of some sort. Take for example the Magnum and Durango.






Thankfully, the Durango gets a facelift for 2007, and it's amazing how much better it looks. Still has big headlights, but even a slight reduction did wonders. It's also interesting to note this is a facelift that ended up REMOVING the look of permanent surprise from the face.

PT Loser

While finding pictures of the PT Cruiser on Chrysler's website, I came across a link to "Customize your PT Cruiser". I clicked it, think I could make some horrible creation and post it. Bizarrely, it seems as if it's tailored to making your PT Cruiser fugly. Honestly, it's quite hard to make a tasteful one. It's almost sad, and I don't exactly see the point in having it on the website in the first place. Here are a few examples:

The Sunshark

I've managed to stumble across pictures of a local legend. I've seen this car for years, in a slow progress of growth and "enhancement". Not unlike a tumor.

There are so many small yet equally impressive things to note about this particular, having seen it in the flesh, that I feel the need to note them one at a time.

Picture 1:





1. It's a Sunfire, and it has 4 doors. The perfect car for hot-rodding. Or "ricing" if you prefer.
2. It has two aftermarket, non-functional hood scoops.
3. Those hood scoops' "openings" have been painted metallic gold (note this as it appear elsewhere).
4. For a stylistic touch, the hood scoops appear to be on the "backwards", in that they angle down toward the corners of the car, not the centre.
5. The windsheild wiper arms are also painted metallic gold.
6. As are the stock grille mesh.
7. Canadian Tire aftermarket fog lamps are always classy, especially those blue ones that look like alien eyes.
8. It has a car bra, to protect those vital parts from chipping (I HATE car bras).
9. Note the black over stock paint colour, with random triangles cutting down into the stock gold body colour.
10. The car is on steel rims. PLEASE NOTE: here in Canada, people offen change into steel rims for winter tires and this picture could have been taken during that time. The grass is quite green, but the hardwoods have no leaves leading me to believe this was taken in spring. ALSO PLEASE NOTE: Similarly enhanced car sometimes are only equipped with hubcaps, which are removed in winter to give the illusion of actually having purchased real, non-plastic rims.
11. This precious automobile is double parked.

*UPDATE: This car (as of last week) now has 17" rims, which are not fugly (if you look at them without looking at the car as well).

Picture 2:



1. The Spoiler - what gives this car it's soul, and it's nickname - The Shark. The random paint triangles begin to make sense (sort of). Although I'm not sure yet whether this is a tribute to sharks or surfboards. At any rate, I'm sceptical of it's aerodynamic potential.
2. Said spoiler is made of WOOD.
3. Gigantic vinyl Pontiac emblem, a must have for any visually enhanced Sunfire.
4. Banded taillights, made with electrical tape.
5. Wheel locks on the steel wheels. While this is indeed hilarious by itself, the owner may have possessed aluminum rims with summer tires, and was using the steel rims for winter tires as noted above. If so, he probably would have used the same nuts to hold on both rims, and the locking nut would be for the aluminum rims, not the steel ones currently installed.

Picture 3:



1. Although I upped the contrast to see the interior better, the wiper arms are clearly visible here.
2. Classy painted interior bits; in gold (what appears to be metallic gold actually).
3. Canadian Tire (or Walmart?) steering wheel cover. It's yellow - close enough to gold. A bit off though from the colour scheme as a whole.
4. Random box atop the dask, painted to match.
5. Asian themed red seat cover with dragon.

Chevy HHR - Hideous Huge Rip-Off

A long time ago in a galaxy far away, VW made the new Beetle. This is turn started a strange trend of retro cars, few of which are all that inspiring. When the PT Cruiser debuted people loved it and hated it. I'm on the fence.





Chevrolet got on the bandwagon with the SSR - a slow selling, um, thing. It was a sports car that wasn't because it was a pickup, and it was a pickup that wasn't because it tried to be a sports car (with a reeeeeally long truck). I was on the fence with the styling of that one too.

They they had an idea - lets make a PT Cruiser clone! It's successful! And so it isn't plagiarism, lets hire the guy who designed the PT! So out pops the HHR. Of course, directly compared they don't look like each other that much, but in theme and execution they're identical. They even have acronym/letter names! I don't recall what "PT" stands for, but it has to be better than the HHR's ridiculous acronym's meaning: Heritage High Roof. Ironically, the Ford Thunderbird was spawned in a similar way - the guy who designed the New Beetle designed it. Look closely at the style of the front air damn and the tails and you'll see the similarities.





But I'm off topic. My real meaning for posting was the remarkably similar rear and 3/4 views of the HHR and the Durango. I wonder if the PT guy designed the Durango too?

Caliber: Compass' Slightly More Attractive Sister

The Caliber shares it's platform with the Jeep Compass below, and is the main reason why the Jeep's definition of going off road is occasionally jumping a curb. However, the Caliber is a bit better looking, in a kind of shunken Magnum kind of way. However when you get to the rear, you notice it has an ass like Hank Hill. Basically the car seems to taper off to nothing, with huge taillights, that together look to be almost the width of the hatch. Not only does it make it look too narrow and top-heavy, it looks like it wouldn't handle good or hold much stuff. And it makes it look fugly. From the rear anyway.

BTW - the photos on the Dodge website naturally don't particularly show it's ugliness (why would they after all). To truely see the shrunken ass effect, look at one in person.

Jeepers that's Fugly

Introducing the 2007 Jeep Compass - the first obese Jeep. At least it looks that way, but it's actually the smallest and least off-road capable of the Jeep family. It's nice that they styled it too look that way. It looks bloated. Like a whale carcass.


Those huge wheel budges are the main cause - they take up the entire side of the vehicle. In the same way, the front bumper seems huge, especially when it rises on the edges to meet the turn signals.

* I should also note this is the only Jeep available NOT "Trail Rated". It's fraternal twin, the Jeep Patriot, is. And looks much, much better. So what exactly IS the point of the Compass?